The Apocalypse in the Kitchen
- Thread starter Tony Crocker
- Start date
jamesdeluxe":c4wiinyg said:
It's a two-way street, really. Your quote about capitulation causing tension applied to me as well, as I agreed to go to Florida and stuck around there for 8 mosquito-infested years. Other than the sailing I wasn't a happy camper either with living there. It's now time for me to get mine, as far as I'm concerned (I'm 42 and you only get one tour of duty on this earth) but that principle isn't going over as well around here. I won't be leaving here anytime soon, both for recreational reasons and for career reasons...one way or the other.
It sounds like Admin and Mrs. Admin have tried taking turns with locations.
So what happens when one partner is very happy with his/her living circumstances, and the other draws a line in the sand and says,"I've had enough. I need/want to be [elsewhere.] Make your decision."
My French wife pulled that on me 17 years ago and I moved with her to New Mexico.
So what happens when one partner is very happy with his/her living circumstances, and the other draws a line in the sand and says,"I've had enough. I need/want to be [elsewhere.] Make your decision."
My French wife pulled that on me 17 years ago and I moved with her to New Mexico.
Patrick
Well-known member
jamesdeluxe":az5oo2ht said:
Have you been living happily since then? :shock: :? As a geography I know that New Mexico and New Jersey are only neighbours on an alphabetical list.
Martin":az5oo2ht said:
If she can't be happy skiing in Utah, she wouldn't be happy skiing anywhere else on North America.
jamesdeluxe":az5oo2ht said:
Is there any compromise on this? Different location where each of you can get what you want? I know this is how you guys ended up in Utah, but? I can only tell you what I heard from another ski forum...get into some counselling if you truly want to give a chance to make it work.
I honestly believe that my wife doesn't give a damn how I feel. It's been raining for almost 2 months, everything is iced up, can't say a good thing about anything around here..............but she aint going. Too many friends too leave..........for little ole me..............nah. And if I draw a line in the sand...........she will get almost everything.....I've seen too many divorces...they almost always end up in the wife's favor.
That would not be happening in Sacramento, SF or LA. And no more often in SLC, Reno, Seattle or Denver than in NY.
But seriously there should be some negotiating of a compromise position. NY area real estate should translate OK to most western cities. For most people there are employment options. Weather is an issue with people like admin's wife who want to be warm all the time, but frankly, after 4 years in NJ I can think of hardly anywhere that weather sucks more than NYC/mid-Atlantic. For culture no question NY is #1, but SF, LA and Seattle aren't Alabama. If it's nearby family, that's a tough one but supposedly marriages have top priority.
Just some unsolicited suggestions from someone whose wife bailed out in 2004 after 21 years of too much ski addiction. :wink: I can say from experience that the bailout is easier on the one who stays put. That would be admin and kingslug's wife.
Patrick's observation about California being the ideal for living in warm weather and still having decent skiing is correct. And a full range of other outdoor pursuits as well. The weather attracted droves to CA from other parts of the country after WWII, including my parents. But now you need to come from a comparably priced real estate market or your quality of life will take a big hit in terms of housing or commuting.
Transfusing is a longshot. Better to find someone who already shares it. I'm jealous of my son Adam, because it took him all of one month after breaking up with the college girlfriend that didn't ski. I suspect admin and his SLC posse that skied some with Molly also approve. :wink:
believe me, I'm open about where to live. As long as it's near REAL mountains. She ain't.
I spent $5400.00 to ski 10 days out west. 3 days of ice skiing in Tahoe, and all my stuff got stolen, 5 days in BC, and 2 days 2 hours in Utah. Insane!!!!! Plus my ENTIRE paycheck goes to paying the bills. NY property taxes are insane. Making 100K is nothing anymore when you live in NY. It just doesn't add up anymore.
I spent $5400.00 to ski 10 days out west. 3 days of ice skiing in Tahoe, and all my stuff got stolen, 5 days in BC, and 2 days 2 hours in Utah. Insane!!!!! Plus my ENTIRE paycheck goes to paying the bills. NY property taxes are insane. Making 100K is nothing anymore when you live in NY. It just doesn't add up anymore.
Tony, I think it's time to give this topic its own thread.
Done
Done
riverc0il
New member
Working on this one myself with her first lesson a few weeks back. Haven't been able to get her back out there, not due to desire but rather being sick and bad conditions (even I didn't ski last weekend, wouldn't expect her to!). Anyways, it will take a while, but I am a few years away from the good times really rolling. Until then, it is sometimes going to be harder than when she didn't ski :? and also she will never truly be able to roll with what I ski due to lack of general athleticism and coordination. Still, good times will come on that front for me which is a good thing. Already got the "no way we are leaving New England" but I am in line with that. Even Admin's reports has not tempted me to convert to Zion.Martin":fi4oar1r said:this coming from a guy trying very hard to transfuse his passion to an unpassionate, cause once she catches it bad: let the good times roll
riverc0il":2yzg5q57 said:
What many non-NEers don't get is how attached people are to the Northeast for whatever reason: friends, family, culture, landscape, reluctance to change, etc. Even the people who leave keep checking into the Eastern forums, if for nothing else to bust balls... but why do they care?
Which doesn't mean that a certain percent are more than happy to leave the NE and never come back. But I was amazed when I moved out west how transient and unattached people were. When Tony keeps telling RivercOil or others how Seattle will fit the bill for them because it has ok culture/restaurants, cloudy weather, etc., I don't think he gets it.
As I mentioned in one of the kingslug comments, if the stay put sentiment is due to friends and family, that's tough to dislodge anywhere.
But if it's about skiing and cultural ambience, New England vs. Seattle, you're right, I don't get it. I just have this vision of Riverc0il earning 5,000 vertical corn runs on Cascade volcanoes all summer long...
But if it's about skiing and cultural ambience, New England vs. Seattle, you're right, I don't get it. I just have this vision of Riverc0il earning 5,000 vertical corn runs on Cascade volcanoes all summer long...
riverc0il
New member
It probably does not tease me because I have not experienced it. Knowing its there and missing it after having done it are two completely different beasts. I feel less tied down to New England than I used to having moved around so much in just a half dozen years or so (what, four different residents in three different states?) but I still love it here. There is more to life than skiing. And there are only four months I really don't ski during a given year at this point... though three seasons ago I think it was even less than that, though that was an abnormality.Tony Crocker":1220w1zj said:
All that aside, if I ever got the itch (maybe I may some day...) then I would end up in the same Kitchen as most people in this thread :lol: Her mom is coming up this weekend (she usually visits once or twice a month, try that in Seattle) and I am heading out skiing three days in a row with more than a foot moving into NoVT. More coming next week and I have the flexibility to plan for a Friday off from work to enjoy it. Corn season in New England backcountry is about to begin its great three month long run. Life is good, why would I want to change that?